How Do You Rebuild Trust in a Relationship?

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Having trust in a relationship is critical to fostering the sense of loyalty and security you have with your partner. When you trust a person, you rely on that person to not hurt or betray you. Without trust, you will always be on the defensive and feel the need to protect yourself, making it impossible to open up.

If you feel like your relationship is struggling with trust issues, here are a few strategies you can use to rebuild it.

Admit Your Mistakes

Honesty and openness about your mistakes will strengthen your relationship. Everyone makes mistakes, and most are excellent learning experiences.

Rather than hide or explain them away and risk eroding the trust in your relationship, it’s best to own them completely, with the promise you will do better in the future.

Consider the Motivation Behind the Betrayal

Being lied to hurts, but people lie for different reasons, so it’s critical to try and understand why you chose to betray your partner’s trust with a lie.

Did you want to end the relationship without knowing how? Was it just a dumb mistake, or were you trying to fill a void your partner wasn’t filling?

When you understand the motives behind your desire to mislead your partner, you will more easily find the path forward.

Engage in Open Communication

Open and honest communication will build trust, while secrecy will tend to whittle away at it. Keeping secrets can also add to your stress levels, which will impact on your relationship and make it difficult for you to be around the person you love.

You forge a stronger bond when you can get on the same page with your partner with open communication. You will feel closer with that person, making it easier to discuss any issues you have with the relationship without feeling like you will be jeopardising it.

Be Sincere in Your Apology

A genuine apology is the best step forward when you damage the foundation of trust with your partner through a lie or some other hurtful behaviour.

Once you have made your intentions clear, get some feedback from your partner about what they need from you for them to trust you again. 

Give it Time

You have made your apology, discussed your mistake in-depth, and have started to work through your relationship issues. It’s unlikely your partner will be able to disregard your transgression in an instant and just get over it. They may need some space and time to come to terms with it. It could be days or weeks before they can re-address the issue, but there is always hope if they don’t walk away.

Get Professional Counselling

Couples with trust issues or some other dilemma in their relationship could benefit from advice delivered by a professional. A relationship counsellor can provide a comfortable, neutral atmosphere where couples can broach difficult issues openly and honestly.


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