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Why Do Some Marriages Struggle After Having Children?

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Having children is one of the most rewarding experiences that many couples look forward to in their lifetimes. Despite the joy it can bring, however, having a child can also put an immense amount of stress on a marriage. Adjusting from being just two people to creating and managing a family while suffering from sleep deprivation and lack of energy is no easy task!

As wonderful as parenting can be, it’s not uncommon for couples who have recently had kids to struggle with feelings of isolation, anxiety, and dissatisfaction within their relationship. In this blog post, we will discuss w,hy some marriages struggle after having children and how couples can better cope with these challenges.

Talk About Common Challenges In Parenting

When couples have a child, their lives change drastically. Suddenly, they are responsible for the care and well-being of an entirely new human being! This can often lead to feelings of anxiety, fear, and even isolation as couples grapple with this huge lifestyle adjustment.

Each partner’s role shifts dramatically when parenting comes into play. Where partners may have previously shared responsibilities in the home, one partner may now take on more of a caregiver role while the other is busy juggling work and family obligations. This imbalance can lead to resentment and burnout for both partners, creating tension within the relationship.

Additionally, it’s common for couples to find themselves with little to no free time after having children. This can lead to communication breakdown between partners and feelings of resentment on both sides. Couples who were once used to spending quality time together may now find themselves exhausted and unable to connect as they used to.

Discuss Financial Pressure and How It Affects Couples

Another factor that can lead to a decline in marital satisfaction after having children is financial pressure. Couples may find themselves under a lot of strain when it comes to budgeting with the added cost of childcare and other expenses associated with parenting.

Financial stress often leads to arguments between partners and feelings of frustration and hopelessness. Couples may also find themselves overwhelmed with the idea of providing for their children, leading them to neglect other areas of their marriage.

How Couples Can Better Cope With These Challenges

Fortunately, there are steps couples can take to better cope with these challenges and prevent their marriage from suffering after having children. One way is by making time for each other. Even if it’s just 15 minutes a day, couples should ensure they are actively communicating and taking time to connect.

Couples should also work on balancing their responsibilities in the home and outside of it. Open conversations about expectations and roles can help both parties feel heard and appreciated for their contributions.

It’s also important for couples to seek help if they are feeling overwhelmed. Whether it’s a couples therapy session or just talking to someone about how they are feeling, getting support can be very beneficial in helping couples navigate the difficult waters of parenting and marriage.

The Role of Stress In Marital Struggles

Finally, it’s important to understand the role of stress in marital struggles. Stressful events such as the arrival of a new baby can cause major relationship shifts and leave couples feeling disconnected or overwhelmed. Couples must be aware of this and try to combat their negative feelings towards each other through communication and understanding.

Having children is an amazing experience that should be cherished and enjoyed but it can also bring challenges. Couples aware of the common issues associated with parenting and taking steps to mitigate them can ensure their marriage thrives despite life’s changes. With open communication, understanding, and self-care, couples can ensure their relationship stays strong even after having children.

Identify When Communication Breaks Down in a Marriage

Communication breakdown is one of the most common causes of marital decline after having children. When couples are unprepared for or overwhelmed by the changes that come with parenting, it’s not uncommon for them to shut down and withdraw from one another.

Couples should pay attention to any indications that their communication has broken down. Signs of this include not wanting to talk about the issues causing tension, avoiding difficult conversations, or feeling resentful when one partner brings up a topic.

Tips For Keeping Your Marriage Strong After Having Kids

Fortunately, couples don’t have to suffer in silence regarding marriage struggles after having children. Here are a few tips for making the transition easier:

  • Make time for each other, even just a few minutes every day. Regular conversations and checking in with one another can help couples stay connected throughout difficult parenting times.
  • Work together to create a sustainable parenting plan. This may include making lists of tasks, setting realistic expectations for each other, and communicating regularly about what works and what doesn’t work.
  • Practice self-care! Parents often put their children first when it comes to taking care of themselves. However, couples must remember to take time out for themselves, whether taking a break from parenting duties or simply enjoying a long walk together.
  • Find support from others. Whether attending marriage counseling, joining a support group, or talking to close friends and family members, having an outside perspective can help solve common problems couples face after having children.


How can I make sure my marriage stays strong after having children?

Making time for each other, communicating regularly about parenting duties and expectations, practicing self-care, and seeking outside support are all important steps couples should take to ensure their relationship remains strong after having children.

What kind of challenges may arise in a marriage after having children?

Common challenges couples face after having children include lack of communication, financial pressure, and feeling overwhelmed with responsibilities.

What should I do if I feel disconnected from my partner after having a baby?

Take time out as a couple, even just 15 minutes daily. Try to regularly communicate about parenting duties, expectations, and any other issues causing tension in your relationship. If needed, consider seeking outside support from a therapist or couples counselor.


Having children brings immense joy and satisfaction but comes with unique challenges. Couples should prioritize communication and understanding in marriage to navigate these difficulties together. Taking steps such as making time for each other, finding support from outside sources, and practicing self-care can help couples stay connected even after having children. With the right tools and strategies, couples can ensure that their marriage remains strong parenting challenges parenting.

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