People often joke that getting married is the death knell for your sex life. Sadly, for many couples, the shiny allure of sex without having to work for it can lose its lustre after a few years with the same partner, and “working” for sex becomes a thing again.
Life can make it challenging to keep a sex life going no matter how much each partner wants it. Libidos rarely match up in a marriage, and one partner almost always wants to do it more than the other. Work schedules can make it difficult to connect, and then there is housework and children to consider
A healthy sex life takes work, and you need to make an effort to ensure those erotic rendezvous in the bedroom are regular. But how do you ask for more sex without sounding like a desperate, sex-starved teenager? Use these tips to keep your sex life alive
1. Make an Appointment
It may sound cold and clinical, like making an appointment with your doctor, but sometimes, the only way to find time to connect is to compare calendars so you can get more than 5 minutes together in the same room
Setting time aside for an erotic interlude can be exciting because it helps to build anticipation. Don’t make it a wham-bam, thank you ma’am or sir kind of experience. Turn it into a romantic evening. For example, one partner could enjoy a relaxing in a candlelit bath while the other gets the kids settled in bed so there are no distractions.
2. Listen More
Communication builds emotional connections, and it can be arousing for a partner to have such an attentive audience. Couples who don’t communicate can lose touch and drift apart, so start sharing and listening more if you want more sex. We’re not saying you should only let your partner bend your ear when you’re feeling the itch, but that you should talk more often in general.
3. Do Things Together
Do more things with your partner, and not just the fun stuff. Help with the dishes after dinner, or work in the garden together. Working side by side is a bonding experience, no matter how mundane. They also present more opportunities to be playful with each other, which can be an obvious, but pleasant segue into a more erotic encounter.
4. Be More Touchy-Feely
You can indicate your desire for sex through touch. The way you rub your hand up your partner’s thigh, caress their neck, or how you hold her during a hug can be a not so subtle indication of your desire. If your partner is even slightly in the mood, your sensual touching may be just what they need to get them off the fence and into the bedroom
5. Be More Assertive
Sometimes it pays just to come out and ask. Believe it or not, some people want their partners to be more assertive when it comes to their sex life. Of course, some are the complete opposite, but the only way to find out is to try. Don’t be arrogant in your approach, but do be confident.
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