The honeymoon stage of a new relationship cannot last forever. Sooner or later, the heat of passion and excitement will cool down to a more comfortable level of intimacy that will sustain the couple through the remaining decades.
Unfortunately, even the quiet simmer of romance can turn cold, and couples once madly in love wonder, “when did the spark go out?”
If you find yourself in this position, it does not mean your marriage is lost. However dim it may be, the spark of romance is still there; you just need to fan it back to life. The following strategies will help you stir up the passion and bring back some of the excitement of your first few years together.
1. Take Care of Yourself
You weren’t attracted to a slob who took no pride in their appearance when you first met the love of your life. After a few years of marriage, it’s easy to let yourself go, but you should still care about your appearance and grooming because it shows you care about your partner as much as you care about yourself.
2. Go on Dates
After a few years of kids, work, and mortgage payments, regular dinner dates and movie nights may be distant memories. You may have even convinced yourself that you no longer go out because the passion has died. However, have you ever considered that maybe the romance died because you stopped going on dates and enjoying each other’s company?
Plan some time together to get to know each other all over again. It can be as simple as a visit to the botanical gardens, a nice meal at a restaurant, or something more adventurous you have never tried before, like water skiing or parachuting.
3. Foster More Intimacy
A common feature of marriage without passion is the lack of sex life. However, jumping into bed together is not the long-term solution you are looking for. Developing emotional intimacy will build a stronger connection that will give more meaning to sexual encounters when they do happen.
Start by meeting your partner’s needs while also letting them know about your own. A gentle touch, holding hands, or a massage or back rub are great ways to display affection for your partner.
4. Spend Some Time Apart
It’s great to spend time together, but if your partner is the only person you see socially, it could stifle the relationship, especially if you have given up a favourite activity you enjoyed while single. If you enjoyed team sports, a solo hobby, or liked to hang out with friends without a partner in tow, it might be time to re-explore those interests and hobbies to save the marriage.
5. Get Professional Help
Relationships are intensely personal, so it’s not always easy to take an objective view of a
troubled marriage. You may need some guidance to help you see the relationship from your partner’s point of view. Marriage counselling can provide professional, unbiased advice and a lifeline for when you feel stuck and unsure what to do next.