7 Steps to Save My Marriage
Every marriage has the occasional rocky road, but if you are here reading this, you’ve likely noticed your relationship has been on a downward spiral for a while. Rebuilding a relationship takes commitment and focus and can be more challenging by life changes like a new baby, caring for an aged parent, or infidelity.
Unfortunately, when relationships get rocky, partners will often start focusing on themselves and taking care of their needs at the expense of their partners. Here are a few tips to help you avoid adding more strain to your relationship and save your marriage. Reflecting on the circumstances and dynamics of your relationship is crucial in determining if your marriage is worth saving.
Take the time to assess the level of open and honest communication between you and your partner.
Consider the commitment to working on issues together and the presence of an emotional connection, even during challenging times.
Identify any unresolved issues that may be negatively impacting your marriage. By evaluating these factors thoughtfully, you and your spouse can make an informed decision about the future of your relationship.
Here are 7 steps to help you save your marriage.
1. Listen More and Talk Less
Yes, you have feelings and an individual perspective that are important to you, but so are your partner’s. Have your say, but be sure to listen and consider your partner’s perspective as well. Let them know you understand and care about their feelings. When you listen, you will understand their side and can react appropriately or work towards a happy middle ground.
2. Commit to Change
Saving a relationship often involves making changes in yourself. We’re not talking about a personality replacement because it’s more about modifying behaviors that might cause friction in your relationship.
For example, if you are quick to anger, you could work on improving your reactions to the things that cause you to lose your temper, or an overly critical partner could work on looking at things from the partner’s point of view.
It can be tough to change behaviors that have developed over a lifetime, but committing to them is necessary for rebuilding a relationship.
3. Watch Your Tone
Talking down to your spouse and name-calling is unproductive and will only put your partner on the defensive. They may shut down entirely, destroying any hope of an amicable solution. Always communicate respectfully, even when you are angry. Doing this will show that you care about your relationship and want to make it work.
4. Be Kind Even If You Don’t Feel Like It
The little things you do in a relationship can make a huge difference. Little favors are as simple as picking up their favorite ice cream or saying thanks when they do the dishes or prepare dinner. Taking the time to show your gratitude doesn’t cost you anything but can pay off big time in the relationship stakes.
5. Stay Involved With Your Partner
A relationship where couples live separate lives will soon devolve into a roommate type of situation. If it continues, the relationship may eventually sour to where separation is a real risk. Staying involved and learning to enjoy each other’s company, sharing interests, and doing activities together regularly will help develop strong bonds.
6. Reject Negative Self Talk
Negative thoughts have an impact on how you feel and behave. Even though you may not be giving your negative opinions of your spouse a voice, you may be internally bashing your spouse with negative self-talk. None of us are perfect, so clamp down on the internal trash-talking and start focusing on the positive aspects of your spouse.
7. Be Patient
Severe problems in relationships can’t be resolved overnight. It takes time to replace unhealthy relationship damaging habits with healthy ones. When you are working hard to create a stable, loving relationship, you will need to develop the patience to make it through the transition. It could be just a few weeks, but it could also take many months to repair the rift.
FAQ’s
How Do You Save A Marriage When Only One Is Trying?
When faced with the challenge of saving a marriage when only one partner is putting in the effort, it’s crucial to prioritize self-reflection and continued dedication to the relationship. Despite your partner’s lack of engagement, maintaining open lines of communication is key. Avoid resorting to threats or ultimatums, as these can erode trust and create further obstacles.
While saving a marriage is ideally a joint effort, it’s natural to sometimes feel isolated in your endeavors. Taking care of your own physical, mental, and emotional well-being is essential. Seeking professional help from a marriage counselor can offer valuable guidance and support for navigating this difficult situation with your partner.
Can EMDR help a marriage?
EMDR therapy, known for its effectiveness in treating trauma and PTSD, has the potential to positively impact marriages by addressing individual traumas that may be influencing relationship dynamics. By guiding individuals through the process of reprocessing traumatic memories, EMDR can foster improved communication, reduced emotional reactivity, and increased intimacy between partners.
The therapy equips individuals with self-awareness and stress management skills, which in turn can disrupt negative interaction patterns within a marriage. While EMDR is not a direct form of marriage counseling, it can play a valuable role in enhancing a relationship, especially when integrated with couples therapy to tackle specific relational challenges.
When is it appropriate to consider ending an unhealthy or toxic marriage for the well-being and happiness of both partners?
In some cases, ending an unhealthy or toxic marriage might be the best decision for both partners’ well-being and happiness, suggesting that it can be appropriate under certain circumstances.
What challenges can arise if one partner is unwilling or resistant to change in the context of saving a troubled marriage?
If one partner is unwilling or resistant to change, it can be challenging to make progress in saving a troubled marriage.
How can external help, such as marriage counseling, contribute to the process of saving a troubled marriage?
External help like marriage counseling can provide a reality check that may be hidden from the couple, aiding in the process of saving a troubled marriage.
What role does genuine willingness from both partners play in saving a troubled marriage?
Saving a troubled marriage requires both partners to be genuinely willing to work on the issues.
Conclusion
Severe problems in relationships can’t be resolved overnight. It takes time to replace unhealthy relationship-damaging habits with healthy ones. W
hen you are working hard to create a stable, loving relationship, you will need to develop the patience to make it through the transition. It could be just a few weeks, but it could also take many months to repair the rift. Saving a troubled marriage requires a deep commitment from both partners to address the underlying issues.
It’s essential for both individuals to be genuinely willing to put in the effort and make changes for the better. Seeking external support, such as marriage counseling or couples therapy, can offer valuable insights and guidance that may not be immediately apparent within the relationship.
While progress may take time and perseverance, it’s important to understand that not all marriages can be salvaged. In some cases, despite sincere efforts and professional help, a marriage may reach a point where it’s irreparable.
Making the decision to end a toxic or unhealthy marriage could ultimately lead to a healthier and happier future for both partners. Patience, dedication, and a willingness to seek help are crucial elements in the journey to potentially saving a troubled marriage.
