So, what are some of the most common marriage problems, and what are the solutions to those problems?
Hi, Cody Butler here, relationship coach and founder of Better Marriage Today. I want to talk to you about the most common problems that couples face in a relationship or marriage, and what you can do to solve them.
Now, I’ve worked with thousands of couples, and I can tell you that there’s a pattern that repeats over and over again. The same issues come up time and time again: better communication, more sex, and less fighting. Women often want to talk more, while men want more sex, and both parties want to fight less. These are the common issues that arise repeatedly.
I want to share some strategies with you to solve all of these problems so that everyone can be happy. The first thing is better communication. This is a major problem in relationships and is the root cause of many issues. If you’re not getting enough sex, it’s because of poor communication. If you’re fighting too much, it’s because of poor communication. And if you’re not getting enough communication, it’s because there’s a lack of communication skills within the relationship.
So, the solution to all of these problems is better communication skills.
If you can learn to communicate better, it will solve all of the problems within the relationship. When coaching couples, I often ask them if they wake up in the morning with the goal of hurting their partner, and the answer is always no. Rarely do people wake up wanting to hurt their partner. So, when conflicts arise, fights happen, or problems occur, it’s usually due to miscommunication.
When both partners can acknowledge that they have never woken up with the intention of hurting each other, they can agree that any fight or problem simply comes down to a lack of communication. If there’s a fight, it’s because they have misunderstood each other. If they’re arguing about something, it’s because they’re not communicating effectively. Therefore, the solution is communication.
The second problem is a lack of intimacy in the relationship. For women, it’s emotional intimacy. They want deeper levels of conversation and connection. For men, it’s physical intimacy. They desire more sex within the relationship. Now, here’s something really interesting…
What opens a woman up to sex is communication, and what opens a man up to communication is sex. So, we have this kind of chicken and egg situation. For a woman to be receptive to sex, she needs to feel like she’s having solid and intimate communication. But for a man to want to give that solid and intimate communication, he needs to have sex. Again, we have this interdependent dynamic.
If couples don’t understand this, they will always fight. There’s no natural solution to it. You won’t find a solution because the woman will not give sex until she gets communication, and the man will not give communication until he gets sex.
Now, the solution to that is a little bit beyond this video. I like to keep these videos short so that people can watch them quickly. But I have a free workshop where I cover the solution to that problem. You can find the link in the description. In the workshop, I share exactly how to improve communication, have more sex, fight less, and solve the chicken and egg problem in your relationship. Everyone can get what they want: better communication for the woman, more sex for the man, and less fighting. It’s completely free, so check it out if you get a chance.
This leads me to the solution for all marriage and relationship problems, and that is education. In any area of life, if you want to excel and be good at it, education is required. Business leaders get business education, sports professionals get coaches and education on how to perform better. Relationships are no different. The skills required to make a relationship work are not instinctive or intuitive. They’re not taught to us. Very few people actually understand the skills that make relationships work. That’s why divorce rates and failure rates are so high.
Even when a relationship doesn’t fail and people remain married, a large percentage of those relationships are simply out of obligation or convenience. It’s easier to stay than to go. There’s little passion or excitement. But you absolutely can have the excitement and passion back, the butterflies and the feelings you had at the beginning of the relationship.
The key to this, and the key to all marriage problems, is education. It’s about getting relationship education and understanding the other person. Men and women are very different. They communicate differently and have different needs. The key to happiness is learning how to listen to the other person and understand them.
What they’re saying and how to meet those needs doesn’t happen naturally. That’s why there’s so much frustration within relationships, and fights happen all the time. Both parties are not getting their needs met, and they’re frustrated because they don’t know how to communicate their needs effectively. The other person may not even recognize what the person is saying, even if they are communicating their needs.
That’s why communication is the number one skill needed in a relationship. It’s the key to a healthy relationship. Getting relationship education is crucial. That’s why we provide these videos and information—to help you get the education you need. The skills required are simple, but simple doesn’t mean easy. Simple means not complicated. Anyone can learn these skills once they are exposed to them.
That’s why I always ask you to please like this video, share it on social media, and subscribe to the channel. We want to reach as many people as possible and help them in their relationships. If you find these videos beneficial and helpful, please help us spread the message by giving us a like, subscribing, and leaving a comment below. Share your tips for keeping a marriage strong, healthy, and moving in the right direction.
