So you’ve gone to marriage counseling, and your spouse has brought up some concerns. Maybe you’re feeling a little defensive and don’t know what to say. Don’t worry, we’re here to help. In this post, we’ll discuss five things not to say in marriage counseling. By avoiding these common mistakes, you can ensure that your sessions are productive and positive.
Marriage counseling what not to say
If you’re headed to marriage counseling, it’s important to be aware of the things you shouldn’t say. By avoiding common mistakes, you can ensure that your sessions are productive and positive. Here are five things not to say in marriage counseling:
1. “You’re the one who needs to change.”
When you point the finger at your spouse and tell them that they need to change, it’s bound to cause tension. Marriage counseling is about finding ways to improve your relationship, not about trying to fix each other.
2. “I’m not the one with the problem.”
This might be true, but it’s not helpful. Marriage counseling is about finding solutions together, not about placing blame. By taking responsibility for your part in the problems, you can show your spouse that you’re committed to making things better.
3. “You’re just like your mother/father.”
Insults will only make things worse. Even if there’s some truth to what you’re saying, it’s best to avoid digging up old hurts and wounds. Marriage counseling is about finding new ways to communicate and connect, not about dredging up the past.
4. “I don’t know why I even bother.”
Threatening to give up on your marriage is not going to help anything. Marriage counseling is about finding ways to move forward, not about making ultimatums.
5. “This is all your fault.”
Again, even if there’s some truth to this statement, it’s not helpful. Marriage counseling is about finding ways to work together, not about placing blame. By taking responsibility for your own actions, you can show your spouse that you’re committed to making things better.
6. Marriage counseling is a waste of time.
If you don’t believe that marriage counseling can help, then it probably won’t. Marriage counseling is about finding ways to improve your relationship, not about fixing each other. If you’re not open to the idea of counseling, then it’s unlikely that it will be beneficial for you.
7. We don’t need marriage counseling, we just need to communicate better.
Communication is important, but it’s not the only thing that marriage counseling can help with. Marriage counseling is about finding ways to improve your relationship, not just about communicating better. By attending counseling, you can learn new ways to communicate and connect with your spouse.
8. I don’t want to talk about that.
Marriage counseling is about finding ways to improve your relationship, not just about communicating better. If you’re not open to discussing the issues in your marriage, then counseling is likely to be unproductive.
9. I’m not sure if I’m ready to do this.
If you’re not sure if you’re ready to commit to marriage counseling, that’s okay. Marriage counseling is a big decision, and it’s important to make sure that you’re both on board with the idea before you begin. If you’re not sure if counseling is right for you, talk to your spouse about your concerns.
10. I don’t know if I can do this.
If you’re feeling doubtful about your ability to make Marriage counseling work, that’s normal. Marriage counseling is a big commitment, and it’s important to believe in the process before you begin. If you’re not sure if you can do it, talk to your spouse about your concerns. Marriage counseling is a team effort, and you’ll need to support each other through the process.
11. Marriage counseling is too expensive.
Marriage counseling can be expensive, but it’s important to remember that your marriage is worth the investment. If you’re not sure if you can afford to counsel, talk to your spouse about your concerns. Marriage counseling is an investment in your relationship, and it can be worth the cost if it helps you to improve your marriage.
12. Marriage counseling is too difficult.
Marriage counseling can be challenging, but it’s important to remember that your marriage is worth the effort. If you’re not sure if you can handle counseling, talk to your spouse about your concerns. Marriage counseling is an investment in your relationship, and it can be worth the challenge if it helps you to improve your marriage.
13. Marriage counseling is too emotional.
Marriage counseling can be emotional, but it’s important to remember that your marriage is worth the effort. If you’re not sure if you can handle the emotions of counseling, talk to your spouse about your concerns. Marriage counseling is an investment in your relationship, and it can be worth the emotions if it helps you to improve your marriage.
14. Marriage counseling is too personal.
Marriage counseling can be personal, but it’s important to remember that your marriage is worth the effort. If you’re not sure if you can handle discussing personal issues in counseling, talk to your spouse about your concerns. Marriage counseling is an investment in your relationship, and it can be worth the personal discussions if it helps you to improve your marriage.
15. Marriage counseling is too time-consuming.
Marriage counseling can be time-consuming, but it’s important to remember that your marriage is worth the investment. If you’re not sure if you can commit the time to counsel, talk to your spouse about your concerns. Marriage counseling is an investment in your relationship, and it can be worth the time if it helps you to improve your marriage.
16. Marriage counseling is a waste of time.
Marriage counseling is not a waste of time, but it’s important to remember that your marriage is worth the investment. If you’re not sure if you believe in the process of counseling, talk to your spouse about your concerns. Marriage counseling is an investment in your relationship, and it can be worth the time if it helps you to improve your marriage.
17. Marriage counseling won’t work for us.
Marriage counseling may not work for every couple, but it’s important to remember that your marriage is worth the investment. If you’re not sure if you believe in the process of counseling, talk to your spouse about your concerns. Marriage counseling is an investment in your relationship, and it may work for you if you’re both committed to the process.
18. We don’t need marriage counseling.
Marriage counseling may not be necessary for every couple, but it’s important to remember that your marriage is worth the investment. If you’re not sure if you believe in the process of counseling, talk to your spouse about your concerns. Marriage counseling is an investment in your relationship, and it may be beneficial for you if you’re both committed to the process.
19. Marriage counseling is only for couples with serious problems.
Marriage counseling is not only for couples with serious problems, but it’s important to remember that your marriage is worth the investment. If you’re not sure if you believe in the process of counseling, talk to your spouse about your concerns. Marriage counseling is an investment in your relationship, and it may be beneficial for you even if you don’t have serious problems.
20. Marriage counseling is only for couples who are having problems.
Marriage counseling is not only for couples who are having problems, but it’s important to remember that your marriage is worth the investment. If you’re not sure if you believe in the process of counseling, talk to your spouse about your concerns. Marriage counseling is an investment in your relationship, and it may be beneficial for you even if you’re not having problems.
FAQs:
What do you say at marriage counseling?
There’s no one answer to this question, as every couple is different and will have different needs in counseling. However, some common topics that are often discussed in marriage counseling include communication, conflict resolution, finances, parenting, and intimacy. If you’re not sure what to discuss in counseling, talk to your spouse about your concerns and let your counselor know what you’re hoping to get out of the sessions.
What shouldn’t you say in marriage counseling?
There are a few things that you should avoid saying in marriage counseling, as they can be counterproductive to the process. Some things to avoid saying include: “marriage counseling is a waste of time,” “we don’t need marriage counseling,” and “marriage counseling won’t work for us.” Instead, focus on positive statements about your marriage and your commitment to the counseling process.
How long does marriage counseling usually last?
There’s no one answer to this question, as every couple is different and will have different needs in counseling. However, most marriage counselors will typically recommend 8-10 sessions, which are usually spread out over a period of 3-6 months. Some couples may need more or less time in counseling, depending on the severity of their issues and their commitment to the process.
Conclusion
I hope you found this post helpful. Marriage counseling can be a difficult and sensitive process, but by avoiding these common mistakes, you can make it more productive and positive. If you have any other tips or advice, please share them in the comments below.
