Your marriage is on the brink of divorce. How do you save it? Hi, Cody Butler here, a marriage and relationship coach and founder of Better Marriage. So, what do you do if your marriage is on the brink of divorce? What are some things you can do to pull it back right now? Here are some tips to help you with that.
The first thing is to understand why people leave a marriage, why do they want a divorce? The answer is that all hope has ended. When hope ends, the relationship ends. People will stick around in a long-term relationship as long as they can see some light at the end of the tunnel or some hope at the end of the turn.
But they won’t stick around when all hope is gone. So, if your marriage is on the brink of divorce and you’re looking to save it, the number one thing that you have got to do is to bring hope into that relationship. You’ve got to bring some hope of salvation into the marriage. The easiest and best way to do that is to acknowledge what the problem is within the marriage and show that you are taking steps to resolve it.
A few years ago, when my wife and I were newlyweds and having some problems, we were having this issue where the marriage was on shaky ground. I had to acknowledge that I was causing the problem and that I didn’t know how to fix it yet.
But I was taking steps, getting help, and asked for her support. That bought me some time to actually go and do it. If you do this, acknowledge what the problem is, and tell your partner that you’re looking for help, you better go get help because they’re probably on a very short leash at this point in time.
Trust has probably been destroyed, and they’re not going to give you a lot of time to sort this out. Show them that there’s hope, show them that there’s life, and they will probably stick with you.
The second thing is to understand that if you’re at the point where your marriage is failing and your partner is looking to leave, and you’re trying to save it, you are in the emergency room right now. You are not going to be getting a lot of sex, and you are not going to be getting a lot of whatever it is that you want out of the relationship. This is not about you at this point.
This is not about being happy and about making the relationship something passionate and exciting again. This is about getting you off the critical list. This is about saving the relationship. It’s not about comfort or pleasure. It’s about getting you off of the critical list, getting you into the intensive care ward where the doctors can stabilize you, and then into the regular ward to start to recover.
The next thing I would say is, if your marriage is at a point of failure, you’ve got to get professional help. You’ve got to get a coach or a therapist or somebody like that who can assist you through this.
Because you’re going to have to work on yourself and your marriage skills. If the marriage has reached a failing point, there are a lot of missing skills. There are skill sets that are just not there. Whether this relationship is recovered or ends, and you enter another relationship, you’ll need the skills to ensure that history doesn’t repeat itself. If your partner takes you back, you’ll need the skills to avoid ending up in the same situation again. So, a key step is to start educating yourself on marriage and relationship skills, specifically communication skills.
Most marriages fail due to a lack of communication. If you want help with that, if you want some free assistance, I have some free classes and training available. Check out the links in the description for a masterclass on how to build your relationship from the ground up, how to restore, rebuild, and mend your relationship, how to improve communication and intimacy, and how to reduce fights and arguments within your relationship. It provides quick techniques to restore your relationship rapidly. So, check that out. The links are in the description below.
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That’s it from me. Bless you, and I’ll talk to you soon.
