Better Marriage

How To Save A Marriage And Stop Contempt

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Are you in an unhappy marriage and looking for ways to save the relationship? Is your partner hostile or disrespectful towards you, breeding contempt for each other? The road to saving a broken marriage can be difficult and demanding but not impossible.

Fortunately, there are steps that couples can take together – whether they have been together for decades or married just yesterday – to stop negative emotions from taking over their couplehood and maintain the love they shared before growing apart. We will explore why bitterness develops in marriages and give several tips on how to stand up against feelings of disdain.

Sources Of Contempt in Your Marriage

Before saving their marriage, couples need to identify what has caused them to feel contemptuous toward one another. It could be a lack of communication, a feeling of being taken for granted, or even financial struggles. Once the problem areas have been identified, couples should talk openly and honestly about their feelings and why. This will help couples understand each other’s perspectives and respond in ways that bring respect back into the relationship rather than negativity and contempt.

Practice Active Listening

Active listening is an effective communication tool that can help couples avoid arguments, defensiveness, and hostility when discussing difficult topics. Active listening involves giving undivided attention to what your partner is saying.

It also involves allowing your partner to express their feelings without judgment or criticism and using reflective responses to show that you are listening and understanding what they are saying.

Reaffirm Appreciation

When couples become frustrated with one another, they can forget how much they care and appreciate each other. Taking the time to tell your partner why you love them, even if it’s something small like complimenting their sense of humor or thanking them for cooking dinner, helps remind couples of why they fell in love in the first place. 

Doing this simple act of kindness regularly can help bring back positive emotions and rebuild respect for one another and gratitude for being together.

Use Kindness When Discussing a Conflict of Interest

When couples disagree, getting caught up in a heated argument can easily lead to contempt. However, couples can still have productive conversations even when they are both passionate about opposite sides of an issue. 

The key to successful discussions without going down the rabbit hole of contempt is to use kindness and thoughtfulness when communicating. Couples should try their best to be understanding of each other’s opinions and feelings and make sure that everyone involved feels heard and respected.

Set Healthy Boundaries

Setting healthy boundaries helps couples strive for mutual respect in their relationship. This includes limiting how much time each partner is willing to spend discussing a particular issue and taking the necessary steps to ensure that conversations are productive and respectful. Couples should also know what topics are off-limits or hurtful to discuss.

Focus on the Positive

When couples start focusing on the negative aspects of one another, it can become difficult to see the good things they bring into the relationship. It’s important to remind yourself – and your partner – why you fell in love with them in the first place, as well as acknowledge all of the great things they do for you and your marriage. Doing this will help build trust again between partners and allow them to connect positively.

Practice Forgiveness

The importance of forgiveness in a marriage should be considered. Even if you don’t agree with your partner or feel like they have wronged you, it is important to forgive them and move on from any lingering negative emotions. 

This will help couples bond again and create an atmosphere where both parties feel safe to open up about their feelings without fear of judgment or criticism. 

Stop Making Assumptions

Making assumptions can be damaging to the relationship, as it leads to misunderstandings and hurt feelings. Couples should always strive to communicate openly and clearly with each other, so that both parties feel heard and respected. This will help avoid potential conflicts arising due to miscommunication or making assumptions about one another. 

Create an Atmosphere of Support

Having a supportive atmosphere is key to any successful marriage. When couples struggle, it’s important to create a safe space to talk freely without judgment or criticism. Both partners should be willing to listen and offer understanding responses when their partner needs emotional support. 

Doing this helps build trust between the two, ultimately strengthening their bond. One of the best ways to reconnect with your partner is by using reflective responses to show that you are listening and understanding what they are saying. 

Taking the time to reaffirm appreciation, use kindness when discussing a conflict of interest, set healthy boundaries, focus on the positive aspects of one another, practice forgiveness, and stop making assumptions can help couples restore the sense of connection and love they once had.

 With these simple steps, any couple can work to build a healthy, loving marriage.

Spend Quality Time Together and Make Each Other Feel Special

It can be difficult for couples to stay connected when life gets busy, and stress levels rise. That is why couples need to make time for one another and create special moments together to help them reconnect emotionally. 

This could be as simple as cooking dinner together, taking a walk in nature, or cuddling up with a movie – the key is to enjoy each other’s company without any distractions. Doing this regularly can help bring back the spark that drew you both together in the first place.

By addressing the sources of contempt in their marriage, actively listening to one another, reaffirming appreciation, setting healthy boundaries, focusing on the positive aspects of each other, and practicing forgiveness, couples can reclaim their connection and bring back the love they once had.  Couples can find themselves in a much happier, healthier marriage with a little effort and dedication.

Seek professional help if needed.

In some cases, couples may need to seek professional help to address the issues in their marriage. Couples counseling can help couples better understand each other’s needs and feelings and work through any lingering resentments or unresolved conflicts. 

It provides a safe space for both partners to express themselves without fear of judgment or criticism and helps them develop tools to make it easier for them to communicate more effectively. By working together with a trained professional, couples can gain greater insight into their behavior as well as the behavior of their partner, which can ultimately lead to a stronger relationship. 

With dedication and commitment from both parties, couples counseling is an effective way for married couples to overcome communication obstacles and rebuild the trust, love, and connection they once had.


What are signs of contempt in marriage?

Signs of contempt in marriage include insults, criticism, mocking, sarcasm, and indifference. Other signs can include stonewalling, avoiding conflict, and not trying to resolve issues.

What is the number one killer of marriages?

The number one killer of marriages is lack of communication. When couples fail to communicate effectively, it can lead to resentment, mistrust, and eventually a breakdown in the relationship. Communication issues are often at the root of all marital problems and need to be addressed for couples to save their marriage.

What kind of emotion is contempt?

Contempt is a negative emotion that involves feeling superior, disdainful, or scornful of someone else. It can lead to feelings of disrespect and hostility, which can destroy trust and connection in a marriage.

Is contempt a form of anger?

Yes, contempt is a form of anger, but it is often seen as more destructive than other forms of anger because it has the potential to damage relationships and destroy trust. It can also lead to resentment and bitterness that can become impossible to overcome.  When couples experience contempt in their marriage, they must address the underlying issues to rebuild the connection and trust.

What is the danger of contempt?

The danger of contempt is that it can lead to a breakdown in communication and trust, eventually leading to the dissolution of the marriage. Contempt is often rooted in feelings of superiority and an unwillingness to hear or understand another person’s perspective, making it difficult for couples to work through their issues. If left unchecked, contempt can become a major obstacle in rebuilding the connection and trust of marriage.  Therefore, couples must address any signs of contempt before it takes over their relationship.

Is contempt positive or negative?

Contempt is a negative emotion that can lead to resentment, bitterness, and mistrust in a marriage. It serves no positive purpose in a relationship and should be addressed immediately.  Instead of contempt, couples should strive for understanding and compassion in their marriage, which will ultimately help them create an atmosphere of trust and connection.  This is the foundation of a successful and healthy marriage.

Is contempt a form of emotional abuse?

Yes, contempt is a form of emotional abuse. It involves insulting or belittling another person to make them feel small and powerless. This type of behavior can be damaging to relationships, as it leads to feelings of mistrust and resentment that can be difficult to overcome. Contempt should not be tolerated in any relationship, and couples should seek counseling if they are experiencing this behavior in their marriage.  

What is the difference between contempt and respect?

The difference between contempt and respect is that respect involves accepting and understanding another person’s point of view, while contempt involves belittling or mocking someone else. Respect helps create a safe, trusting atmosphere in a relationship, while contempt can lead to feelings of mistrust and resentment.  Respect is essential for any successful marriage, so couples must strive to respect one another. 

What is an example of contempt?

An example of contempt in a marriage is when one partner belittles the other or makes snide comments about their behavior. This type of behavior can lead to disrespect and distrust, which can damage the relationship. By recognizing and addressing these issues, couples can work together to overcome contempt and rebuild the trust that they once had.  Couples need to strive to be respectful and understanding of one another to keep their marriage strong.


Keeping the marriage from reaching a boiling point where contempt boils over is an issue that all couples should be actively tackling. While weeding out contempt can be tricky, it starts with being mindful of how we talk and our actions if we feel the relationship is ending. It’s important to communicate your feelings without blaming or attacking each other, stay away from what’s commonly known as “stonewalling,” and try and repair damaged relationships before they destroy something you both put your whole hearts into.

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Discover How To Win Your Wife Back, Even If She Wants Out

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