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How To Save A Marriage After Alcoholism

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Are you or a loved one struggling with alcoholism and looking for ways to heal your relationship? We understand how difficult it can be to navigate this issue and make the right decisions. Fortunately, there are steps that any couple can take to begin rebuilding their marriage or partnership after an alcoholic episode.

This blog post will guide how both partners can work together towards healing and trust-building while reestablishing the connection. Regardless of past hurts or wrongdoings, there is hope for your marriage if you’re willing to put in the effort.

Understand the impact of alcoholism on your marriage and its causes 

Alcoholism can have a devastating effect on a marriage. It weakens trust, damages communication, and destroys intimacy. To save your marriage after alcoholism, you must understand its impact on your relationship and its causes.

Alcoholism is a progressive disease that often starts with social drinking but eventually progresses to physical addiction and unhealthy behavior patterns. It can affect both partners in a marriage, such as when one drinks heavily or enables it. Alcoholism can also be a hidden issue, where only one partner is affected, and the other does not know about it.

Alcoholism affects marriages in different ways, but some common effects include the following:

  • Financial strains: Heavy drinking can lead to job loss, debts, and other financial problems.
  • Emotional pain: Alcoholism creates emotional pain for both partners in the marriage. It often causes guilt, shame, resentment, fear, and anger.
  • Communication issues: Alcoholism can make it difficult for couples to communicate openly and honestly.
  • Trust issues: One partner may feel betrayed or resentful if the other hide their drinking problem. This can lead to a lack of trust between the spouses.

It is important to understand these effects on your marriage and the underlying causes of alcoholism, such as mental health issues, genetics, and stress. Once you understand the causes of alcoholism and its impact on your marriage, you can start to take steps to save it.

Take Steps to Save Your Marriage After Alcoholism

Once you understand the impact of alcoholism on your marriage and its causes, it is time to take action. Here are a few steps that you can take to save your marriage after alcoholism:

  1. Seek Professional Help: If one or both of you are struggling with alcohol dependence, it is important to seek professional help from an addiction specialist. This will help identify the root causes of addiction and provide the necessary tools for recovery.
  2. Open and Honest Communication: Have open and honest conversations about the underlying issues that led to alcoholism. This can help you better understand each other’s needs and how to support each other during recovery.
  3. Rebuild Trust: Alcoholism can lead to broken trust between spouses, but it is possible to rebuild your marriage by being honest, patient, and understanding. It’s important to acknowledge how alcoholism has impacted your lives and work together to bridge the gap.
  4. Create Healthy Habits: Replacing unhealthy habits with positive ones can help build a better relationship between spouses. Try focusing on activities like healthy eating, exercise, meditation, or other hobbies that can help strengthen your bond.
  5. Seek Support: Recovery from alcohol dependence is an ongoing process, so it’s important to seek support from family or friends who can provide emotional and practical assistance. Joining a support group with other couples who have been through similar experiences can also be beneficial.

By taking these steps, you can start to rebuild your marriage after the effects of alcoholism. Remember that recovery is a process; be patient and care for yourself.  With effort and commitment, you can make progress in saving your marriage and building a healthier relationship together.

Acknowledge your emotional needs and those of your spouse.

When saving a marriage after alcoholism, one of the most important factors is understanding and acknowledging your needs and those of your spouse. Take the time to understand each other’s emotions, expectations, and outlooks on life to get the full picture of the situation for each person involved. This will help you both come to a more understanding and productive point of discussion.

You both must have an open dialogue about your feelings without fear of judgment or condemnation. This is the only way to bridge any communication gaps that may have formed because of alcohol use. It is also essential that each partner be willing to accept the other’s feelings and needs, even if it may not be what they want to hear. This mutual understanding and respect can help rebuild the foundation of marriage after alcoholism.

Another important step in saving a marriage after alcoholism is to practice forgiveness and empathy. Even though you or your partner were an alcoholic, no one should carry any shame or guilt for what has happened. Instead, focus on looking forward and how you can mend the relationship in the future.

Both partners must come to a mutual understanding of what forgiveness means in this situation and how it will help repair the bond between the two of you.

By implementing these techniques, couples can rebuild their relationship and save their marriage after alcoholism. Couples can succeed in this process with patience, empathy, and understanding.

Talk about how you both feel and find healthy ways to express it.

Alcoholism can hurt the ability of both partners in a marriage to communicate honestly and effectively. It is important to work as a team to express feelings in healthy ways, such as communication through writing or talking. Both spouses need to be willing to listen and be honest about their thoughts and feelings. This will help build trust and understanding between the two of you.

Seek professional help

Marriage counseling can benefit both partners in a marriage dealing with alcoholism. A therapist or counselor can provide guidance, advice, and support to help couples work through their problems and rebuild their relationship. If one spouse is still actively abusing alcohol, they may need to attend individual counseling or an addiction recovery program. 

Counseling can help the couple to identify and address issues related to alcoholism, such as stress, anger management, communication problems, and other patterns that have caused friction in the marriage.

Establish boundaries and expectations in terms of drinking behavior.

One of the most important steps to saving a marriage after alcoholism is establishing clear boundaries and expectations regarding drinking behavior. This could mean that both partners agree to abstain from alcohol or set rules such as only having two drinks per night or limiting the total amount consumed each week. 

It is essential that these boundaries are discussed openly and that both partners agree to adhere to them. This will help to reduce the chances of relapse and enable the couple to remain on track with their recovery goals.

In addition, couples should also discuss any triggers or situations that could lead to increased drinking, such as stress or social events. Both partners need to be aware of their own individual triggers and those of the other person so they can make informed decisions about handling them.

For example, if attending a party with lots of alcohol is a trigger for one partner, it may be best to avoid such events or plan to remain sober and on track.


How do you save a marriage after alcoholism?

The best way to save a marriage after alcoholism is to address the problem head-on. Couples should talk openly and honestly about their feelings, acknowledge the impact of alcoholism on their relationship, establish boundaries, and seek professional help if needed.

What are the first steps to take?

The first steps to take when trying to save a marriage after alcoholism are to acknowledge the problem and its impact, talk openly and honestly about feelings, set boundaries and expectations regarding drinking behavior, seek professional help if needed, and consider joining an Alcoholics Anonymous support group for extra help.

How do you deal with the resentment?

It is important to acknowledge the resentment that may be present between both partners and find ways to work through it. Talking openly about feelings and addressing issues head-on can help couples let go of resentment and rebuild trust in their relationship.

What if your spouse doesn’t want to change?

If your spouse doesn’t want to change, it may be necessary to seek outside help. A therapist or counselor who specializes in dealing with alcoholism can offer guidance on how to address the issue and provide support for both partners as they work through any underlying issues that may be causing the drinking problem.

How do you keep yourself from relapsing?

It is important to stay focused on your recovery and practice self-care. Find activities that bring you joy, such as exercise, art, or spending time with friends and family. It can also be helpful to join a support group or seek professional help from a counselor experienced in dealing with alcoholism.


When it comes to dealing with the impact of alcoholism on marriage, it’s important to understand that it can be a long and winding road. With patience, dedication, and perhaps some professional guidance, partners can help each other build stronger relationships than ever before. Remember that communication is essential – listening and speaking openly, honestly, and compassionately.

Win Your Wife Back In As Little As 8-Weeks

Discover How To Win Your Wife Back, Even If She Wants Out

Schedule A Free 60 Minute Zoom Session To Learn How We Can Help You Win Your Wife Back

Click Here To Schedule Now

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