So, there’s been infidelity in the relationship. How do you rebuild the trust in a marriage after an affair or cheating? Hey Cody, here with Better Marriage. I want to talk to you about what to do and how to rebuild the trust if there’s been an affair.
How to Rebuild Trust After Cheating
Infidelity within the relationship. Now, the answer to that question comes down to one simple thing: is the person being honest? Are they, or have they become, a trustworthy individual? Or have they just been caught or confessed the infidelity because it’s eating them and they’ve decided to take the emotional burden of what they’ve done off themselves and just dump it on you? Very unfairly, that is the question.
Now, if that’s the case, if they’ve just decided to dump their emotional burden on you or if they just got caught, then it’s going to be very difficult to re-establish trust within the relationship. But if the person has genuinely made a mistake, look, we’re all humans, right? And I’m not justifying infidelity by any stretch of the imagination.
It shouldn’t happen; you should never find yourself in a position where it’s even a possibility. But we’re human beings, and we make mistakes. Sometimes we make genuine mistakes, and we’re genuinely regretful and genuinely remorseful.
Now, if that is the case, if that is the case, then there’s hope for the relationship. Is the person genuinely regretful? Are they genuinely remorseful? Have they come to you and talked to you about this because they want to rebuild the relationship? If that’s the case, then we’re on some pretty good ground to rebuild the relationship.
Now, the question you have to really ask yourself is, do you want to rebuild the relationship at this point? Do you want to move forward? So, assuming that you actually want to rebuild the relationship and assuming that the person is being honest with you and they’ve made an honest mistake and they’ve come forward, that’s really all that can happen. You really have to decide that you want to move forward, and you have to let this go, right?
So, if the person’s been honest with you, they’ve made an honest mistake, they’ve shown genuine remorse, and they want to move forward with the relationship and be with you, and you are able to allow that to happen, then you have to let that go. You have to move forward.
And how do you build trust in a relationship? Well, you demonstrate trust. That is what it is. You have to make yourself vulnerable again and say, “I’m going to trust you. I’m going to allow you back into this relationship. I’m going to allow you back into my heart.
I’m going to allow you back into a place of vulnerability where you have the ability to hurt me again. And I’m going to trust that you’ve learned your lesson, that you are genuinely sorry, and you’re not going to do this again.” That’s the only way, and it’s very, very difficult, right, to put ourselves back in that position of vulnerability after we’ve been hurt.
But how do you build trust in a relationship? You demonstrate trust. Right? You have to give trust to that person. So, step number one is deciding if you’re able to move forward, if you’re able to give. If you are, step number two is, is this person trustworthy? And you have to determine that yourself. Are they actually trustworthy? Can I trust this person? And step number three is actually moving forward, and you’ve got to demonstrate trust.
You’ve got to open yourself up to a place of vulnerability and give them the trust, or else the relationship’s over. Yes, they have to earn your trust, there’s no question about that. They have to earn the trust back. But at the same time, you have to give it as well. They can’t take the trust from you; it’s something that can only be given.
You have to decide if you’re willing to give it, and if you are, then give it freely and give it unconditionally. And if you do that, your relationship stands a chance. You can come back, and you can survive infidelity and cheating within a relationship.
So, that’s it from me. If you enjoyed this content and found it helpful, please help us get the word out. What do you think are some great ways to restore trust in a relationship after infidelity? Please share your comments. It really, really helps.
And if you want more tips and advice on how to have a better marriage, visit our website www.bettermarriage.com.edu, where we’re constantly posting free resources and articles on how to have a better marriage.
That’s it from me. Bless you all, and I’ll talk to you very soon.
