Hey Cody here with Better Marriage and today we’ll be talking about what do you do if your partner’s not cooperative. How do you improve a marriage if you have to do it by yourself?
If you don’t have the cooperation of your partner, the answer to that question is you become the best version of yourself. You stop working on the other person, you stop worrying about the other person in the relationship, and you start to become and you start to work towards becoming the best version of yourself.
Because let me ask you this question, if you become the best, most positive, most influential, the most happy, the healthiest, the absolute best version of yourself, the most beautiful, the most radiant version of yourself, and your partner still can’t love you at that time, your partner still can’t give you what it is that you need in the relationship at that time, then at least you know what you need to do, right?
At least you have your options and you know where you are. If you decide to stay in the relationship at that point, then you know that it’s probably not going to improve because if they can’t love the absolute best version of you, if they can’t respond to the absolute best version of you, then it’s going to be really difficult for them to respond to a lesser version, right?
Because most days a lesser version than our best version is going to show up, our best version of Work on Yourself ourselves is not going to show up in the relationship or at work or anywhere every day, generally, it’s going to be a little bit of a lower version, and if the person we’re with can’t appreciate and love the best version, then it’s going to be really difficult, right?
How are they going to respond to a lesser version of ourselves? So the key really is to work on yourself, don’t worry about the other person, don’t worry about the relationship, it’s about you at this point.
If your partner is completely non-cooperative and they’re not willing to work on the relationship, put yourself in the best position possible for you to move forward and that way if you do have to exit the relationship…
Which I never really condone, but there are times when that is appropriate. If you do have to leave the relationship, you are in the best place to move forward at that point. You know that you’ve done everything that you can do because if you present the best version of yourself to your partner and they still don’t accept or respond to that, there was nothing else you could have done to save that marriage.
Not only that, but you also know that you’ve done absolutely everything within your power to save that marriage. You’re now in a very, very good position to move forward because you’ve improved yourself in every aspect during the process of trying to save your marriage. So, if you do exit the marriage, the best version of you is going out into the world. You’re probably much more likely to attract somebody who will give you what you need, and you can do so without regrets or guilt.
You’ll never wonder “what if I did this” or “what if I did that” or think that you should have stayed a little longer. No, you presented the very best version of yourself to your partner, and if they reject that, then you can move on from that relationship guilt-free. That’s what to do if your partner isn’t cooperating, how to improve or save the relationship.
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