Hi Cody, here from Better Marriage, and today I want to talk to you about some of the issues that married couples can easily overcome. You can overcome all of the issues, but here are some of the big ones that I see most commonly with married couples as I work with them in coaching and counseling. They are a lack of communication, Common Marriage Problem a lack of sexual intimacy, and a lack of shared vision. By shared vision, I mean having a life together.
When we come together in a marriage, we start on common ground. We do things that we love together, we meet in certain environments, maybe we’re in a certain club together, we have a certain activity, or we meet in a church, and we fall in love with each other in a certain environment because we’re moving in the same direction.
We have a shared vision and a shared goal, and it’s that shared vision and goal that really creates that bond and makes us say, “I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I want to walk down the same path with you together.”
The reason you can say that is that you are walking down the same path together. Now, what happens almost all of the time when marriages start to fall and start to disintegrate and get into trouble is that shared vision and that shared goal starts to disappear.
We start out going down the same path together, and as time continues on, we start to separate and separate and separate until, before we know it, 5, 10, 15, 20 years into the marriage, we’ve got two people that are on completely different paths now with two completely different visions.
Maybe one has gone down the route of raising the family, maybe one has gone down the route of a career, maybe there have been career changes for both of you. There are a lot of different things that can happen where that shared vision has started to part, and no longer are you walking on the same path, and you’re going in different directions.
And, of course, that makes all of the other problems, such as a lack of sexual intimacy, a lack of communication, a lack of emotional intimacy, a lack of all of these things.
The Solution
That’s what causes them, so all of these problems can be easily overcome by understanding that the solution to that is the shared vision within the marriage. It’s getting back to the basics. It’s like, what did you love about this person in the first place? What did they do that made you fall in love with them? And really start to look for that in that person again and really start to recreate that environment.
Lightning really can’t strike twice if you start to do the things together that you did in the beginning and you start to make each other feel the way that you felt in the beginning.
All of the other issues are going to resolve themselves—the issues of the lack of intimacy, both emotional and sexual, the lack of communication, all of these things. They’re going to start to reappear because you didn’t have to work for those in the beginning, right? You didn’t have to work hard for those and go, “Where’s the communication? Where’s the sex? Where’s the passion? Where’s the love? Where’s the joy?” It was just there naturally, and that was the result of the shared vision, the shared goal, and wanting to walk the same path together.
So, the solution to all of these problems, to some extent, is going to be to create that marriage vision. It’s definitely the first step to the marriage recovery, and when you do that, a lot of these problems are going to resolve themselves. So, what issues are resolvable in a marriage? All issues are resolvable within a marriage if both parties, if both people in the marriage, are determined to resolve the issues.
So, let me know in the comments what challenges you have had that you would like some help with. What challenges are you having right now? Let me know. And if you like this content, Let me know if you like it, let me know if you don’t like it because comments really, really help us spread the word.
So, if you want some more training on how to have a better marriage, check the links in the description. There’s going to be some free training in there for you—some videos, some classes that I think you’re going to find really, really beneficial. It’ll really help your marriage.
That’s it for today for me. Bless you all, and we’ll talk to you soon.
