Here are five factors that you can implement immediately to help you save your marriage and turn your relationship around. Hey, Cody Butler here, marriage coaching consultant, and founder of Better Marriage. Today I want to talk to you about five things that you can do right now that are absolutely essential if you want to save your marriage, turn it around, and bring it back from the brink of divorce. These five things are going to help you do just that, so let’s get straight into it.
So, the first thing that you need if you want to turn your marriage around is very simple:
hope. You have to have hope, faith, and belief in the outcome. A house divided against itself cannot stand. Divide and conquer. You can’t have hope that the marriage could succeed and then fear over here that it’s going to fail. This is divide and conquer. You’re dividing and conquering yourself. There has to be unwavering hope, faith, and belief in the relationship, that the marriage can be saved, turned around, and that you can make it work. You’ve got to have that faith and that hope in the relationship. When you lose hope, that’s when the relationship ends. That’s when the other party leaves, and they don’t come back. So step number one is that you’ve got to keep the faith. You’ve got to keep hope in the relationship, regardless of what your eyes are telling you.
I’ve worked with over a thousand men now in our “Win Your Wife Back” program, and I’ve seen every situation turn around that you can possibly imagine. From complete stonewalling, to moved out, living with another man, filed for divorce. Every situation that is possible, I have seen turned around. There is hope for you, regardless of what your situation is. That is step number one.
Step number two is emotional safety and security.
We’ve got to recreate emotional safety and security within the relationship. Without communication, there’s going to be no restoration, and without emotional safety and security, there is going to be no communication. Emotional safety and security are prerequisites to the marriage healing, and it is of critical importance that we start to develop this and understand its importance immediately.
Now, your wife is not going to communicate with you in any kind of meaningful way if she feels as though when she does talk, it’s going to start a fight. There’s going to be aggravation, conflict, and it’s going to be pointless. Communication is a negative experience for your wife if that is the case. That is a classic example of there being no emotional safety and security within the relationship. If we can create, and we must create, an environment where our partner feels safe to be themselves with you, to actually open up and tell you what the problem is, without being attacked, without you being defensive, without all kinds of negativity and problems arising from that.
Nine times out of ten, when our partner tries to tell us openly what the problem is, it meets with a negative response such as defensiveness, case building, and so on. These negative responses, after a while, they just realize that open communication is absolutely pointless. It’s only going to end in conflict or frustration. So that open communication shuts down. And when that communication shuts down, we then move into the phase of stonewalling. If there’s something going on in the relationship, the end is very close.
So we’ve got a we’ve got to turn that around and open them up to communication. The way to do that is through re-establishing emotional safety and security and giving them an avenue to a safe path of really telling you what the problem is. Because they’re not going to see any possibility of a solution until they’re able to communicate with you exactly what the problem is.
Now we help with this in the marriage recovery program and the win your wife back program. We show you exactly what you need to do to re-establish that emotional safety and security and get your wife back in the conversation to get it back into the reconciliation radiation and the restoration process. There are some links in the description that you can check out that information completely for free, no obligation whatsoever.
The next thing that we need to do to save the marriage is there has to be mutual admiration and respect for each other.
If there is no admiration and respect, it’s going to be very, very difficult to move forward. If you resent your wife, or she resents you, if she doesn’t respect you, or you don’t respect her, then it’s going to be very difficult to move forward. How are you going to have a meaningful relationship with somebody that you don’t respect or you’ve used being disrespectful to you? So, this is absolutely very, very important.
There have to be specific strategies to move towards a mutual admiration and a mutual respect. We give a high-level overview of the five strategies that are going to really start to reestablish the bonds within the marriage and bring your marriage back from the brink of divorce.
The third step is absolutely there has to be that mutual admiration and respect.
This moves us to the fourth point, which is there has to be a shared vision and goal in God for the relationship.
If a relationship is breaking down, it’s because that shared vision and goal has disappeared. It might be your kids have left home and now you’re suffering emptiness syndrome. Over the past however many years, you’ve had a shared vision and goal to raise those children successfully. When the children move out, the shared vision is gone, and there’s nothing left. You realize that you were two people moving in separate directions.
Now, this can happen at any level of the relationship, so a lot of times we meet in an environment – we meet in a workplace, or we meet due to a shared interest or hobby, or we meet at a university – but we have a shared interest in mind, and we are moving towards a shared vision. And the reason your wife said yes to you in the first place, one of the reasons that she said yes to you in the first place, was the fact that she saw a life with you as being a better option than a life without you. You would move together in a direction, together, you had a shared purpose, you had a shared vision, and that was enough to keep the relationship moving. Now we find ourselves in a place where there is no shared vision, so there’s simply no reason to stay together. There’s nothing keeping you together; you’re simply two people living in an environment with no shared vision.
Just to recap where we are, the first step is you have to have unwavering hope that the relationship can be and will be restored. The second step is you have to re-establish emotional safety and security. The third step is you’ve got to have mutual admiration and respect; that has to be a priority to work on.
The fourth step is there has to be a shared vision and goal. And the fifth step is really an attitude, not a step to take – it’s a step to avoid – and that is the attitude of “I know that” or “I’ve done that”.
Now, I’ve worked with well over a thousand men, and I can tell you that I’ve heard “I’ve done that”, “I’m doing that”, or “That’s something that I’ve already established” so many times, and the reality is that it simply isn’t true. “I’ve done that” or “I’m doing that” is a very, very dangerous position to take because it’s all downside and no upside. If you’ve got it wrong, if in your mind you’ve done that, but in your wife’s mind you have not, it doesn’t matter that you think you’ve done it or not.
So, if your wife is distant, if she’s not cooperating, if there’s stonewalling, if there’s separation, if there’s conflict within the relationship, then the steps that we’ve just outlined simply have not been done. When these steps are implemented back into the relationship, and all of the surrounding activities that surround these steps, then there will be reconciliation, there will be restoration. So, if it’s not happening right now, it’s because these steps are not being taken and the associated steps with them.
If you want more information on this, if you like this content, there are a couple of things you can do. Hit the Subscribe button and get notified, hit the notification bell and you’ll be notified when I release these videos. I’m releasing a couple of these videos every single week to help you out, to restore your marriage, to bring about restoration and healing. Give us a like, give us a thumbs up if you like these videos, it really helps. The other thing you can do is we do have a program where I work with men personally to help you win your wife back, to restore the marriage, to bring reconciliation, healing, regardless of where you are right now. It doesn’t matter where you are, your wife could have moved out, she can be non-cooperative, she can be saying that she’s not interested, she does not have any interest in restoring this marriage. It doesn’t matter. I’ve seen it all, and I’ve seen restoration in every situation as well.
So, just do some free information check out the link in the description or the pin comment and have a look you don’t even need to give an email address to get the to get the information have a look and see if it’s something for you and if it is great if not that’s great as well so that’s it all that’s it for me right now God bless you.
