Navigating the strange and uncertain world of major life transitions can be daunting for those in relationships, as it often brings fear, anxiety, and insecurity. Changes like increased financial stressors and new responsibilities or roles within the family dynamic that you aren’t used to navigating before can create challenges, making it difficult to establish a sense of balance between partners during this transition period.
It’s no wonder many couples struggle to maintain the health of their relationship while going through these significant life shifts. Why Do Marriages Suffer During Major Life Transitions? We explore some key reasons marriages often suffer when undergoing major life transitions and how best to take care of our relationships while experiencing such changes.
Why Do Marriages Suffer During Major Life Transitions? Understanding the Impact on Relationships
Before diving into why marriages often suffer during major life transitions, it’s essential to understand what these shifts are. Some common examples of such changes could include starting a new job, having a baby, moving abroad or within the country, retiring/transitioning out of work, and serious illnesses.
These transitions can bring about great pressure and change the couple’s dynamics, leading to relationship strain if handled improperly. For relationships to thrive during such scenarios, great dialogue and mutual support must exist as individuals learn to adjust and adapt to their new lives.
Reasons Of Marriages Suffer During Major Life Transitions
Different Priorities
During major life transitions, couples often have different priorities they are juggling and attempting to accommodate. These can range from career goals to family commitments, leaving a need for more quality time spent with each other as individual needs take precedence.
Increased Stressors
Stress is one of the most prevalent factors contributing to marriage strain during major life transitions. Stress can result from increased roles and responsibilities, lack of job security/income, and even the feeling of being overwhelmed or not in control of their current situation.
Feeling Overburdened
When people go through big changes, one partner often feels the burden of managing all the moving parts while the other feels like they’re not doing enough. This can lead to one partner feeling resentful as if they carry the weight for both sides of the relationship.
Financial Insecurity
The financial insecurity that comes with major life transitions can be a source of immense tension between couples. Differing opinions on how money should be managed and spent and overall financial instability can lead to arguments and disagreements if not handled correctly.
Increased Responsibilities
If a couple is moving or adding new members to the family, it can increase responsibilities for both parties. This could mean the need for one partner to take on more hands-on roles within the home or at their job, leaving less time and energy for the relationship.
Lack Of Communication
Navigating major life transitions is difficult, but it can be made easier when couples maintain communication throughout such changes. Unfortunately, this often does not happen, leaving individuals feeling frustrated or unheard.
Fear Of The Unknown
Large life transitions evoke fear in many people, as it’s unknown territory and can be unpredictable. Although fear is a natural emotion, couples experiencing such transitions together can lead to misunderstandings and disagreements if not discussed openly as both parties try to cope with the new reality.
Feeling Lost
With major life transitions, many couples may feel disoriented and disconnected from their former selves as they adjust to new roles or environments. This can lead to isolation as one partner struggles to adapt while the other attempts to move on without them.
Lack Of Compromise
Compromise is essential for any healthy relationship, especially during major life transitions. Unfortunately, couples often struggle to find common ground, as one partner may be more eager to move forward while the other feels stuck in their current situation.
How To Take Care Of Your Relationship During Major Life Transitions
Although navigating these major life changes can be tough, couples can take certain steps to ensure their relationship stays healthy.
Communication
Discussing your feelings and maintaining open dialogue will help both partners understand each other’s perspectives and work towards a common goal. Communication is key for any relationship, especially during major life transitions; it allows couples to express their needs and develop solutions. It’s important to remember that communication doesn’t always have to be verbal; sometimes, it can be just spending quality time together or expressing love in other ways.
Make time for each other
Setting aside specific time for the two of you can help re-establish connection and intimacy.
Practice self-care
During major life transitions, taking care of yourself and your mental health is essential to be present for your partner and the relationship.
Be patient with each other
Transitions can take time, so allow yourself room to adjust and move at your own pace. It’s important to be patient with each other during this period, as getting used to the change can take a while.
Express your emotions and concerns openly and listen attentively to feel heard and respected. Understand that everyone deals with transition differently, but being patient and kind can go a long way in fostering an environment of support and understanding within the relationship.
Show support and empathy
Understanding your partner’s feelings and offering encouragement can go a long way when managing such changes. Showing support and empathy during major life transitions is essential to strengthening your relationship.
Acknowledge each other’s feelings and reassure that you are both going through it together while still validating individual experiences. Small gestures such as listening without judgment or speaking positively about the situation can help alleviate strain between partners and remind them that they have each other for support.
Seek professional help if needed
If the strain in your relationship becomes too much, seeking professional counseling or therapy can be beneficial.
Major life transitions can be difficult for couples to navigate together, but by setting aside the time to communicate, practice patience and understanding, and seek help if needed, relationships can remain strong and healthy.
Staying connected and supportive of each other during these times can help partners move forward together. It’s important to remember that although these transitions may be challenging, couples can rely on their relationship as a source of comfort and familiarity in such trying times. This way, both parties can work towards a common goal while respecting each partner’s needs.
FAQS
Why do marriages become unhappy?
Marriages can become unhappy for various reasons, including increased stressors, overburdened, financial insecurity, increased responsibilities, lack of communication, fear of the unknown, loss, and lack of compromise.
What are the four pillars of an unhappy marriage?
The four pillars of an unhappy marriage are increased stressors, feeling overburdened, financial insecurity, and lack of communication.
What makes marriages last?
Marriages last when couples can maintain communication, make time for each other, practice self-care, be patient, show support and empathy, and seek help. A shared goal or purpose can also create a strong bond between partners. Understanding that marriage requires effort from both sides can keep the relationship healthy and ensure it lasts.
Conclusion
No marriage is immune to the difficulties of major life transitions, whether it’s a new job or welcoming a new baby. That’s why investing in your relationship is important when facing such moments. Things like investing time in talks and date nights can help build strong foundations to better manage life transitions’ stresses. Investing in your relationships also helps couples rely on one another during difficult times and strengthens their bond. With these tips, it doesn’t have to feel like surviving but rather conquering life transitions together.