At one point or another, almost every long-term relationship experiences it – the dreaded sense of taking each other for granted. It’s an all-too-familiar feeling that leaves partners wondering, “Why do partners sometimes take each other for granted?” As couples therapists, we have seen firsthand how not addressing this issue can lead to a downward relationship spiral.
But with understanding and effort, failing to appreciate your partner doesn’t have to be your fate. We will discuss key dynamics when a couple takes one another for granted and provide constructive insights on how you and your partner can transform these feelings into appreciation.
Why Do Partners Sometimes Take Each Other for Granted? Understanding Its Impact on Relationships
Taking someone for granted in a relationship, or lack of appreciation, is when you fail to recognize your partner’s contributions. Taking them for granted emotionally, financially, or in any other way can be extremely damaging for both parties.
It means that one partner may need to acknowledge the efforts of their loved one and vice versa – often resulting in a feeling of being unappreciated, misunderstood, or taken advantage of.
The most common way to take someone for granted is by not showing appreciation and gratitude for the things that they do – this can range from the small day-to-day things, such as doing the dishes or taking out the trash, to bigger gestures like helping you get through a difficult time or standing up for you when others don’t.
This lack of appreciation can make your partner feel like they are not being valued and respected, leading to resentment and disconnection.
Why Do We Take Each Other For Granted?
Taking advantage of someone who is always there for you in a relationship is easy. This is especially true if you and your partner have been together for a long time and you become complacent in the thought that they will always be there no matter what. When this happens, we often forget to show our appreciation and gratitude for their efforts.
They never say “thank you”
One partner commonly does not say “thank you” enough or at all. This can leave the other feeling unappreciated and taken for granted. It’s important to remember that a simple “thank you” goes a long way in any relationship, as it communicates your appreciation and gratitude for your efforts.
They aren’t present
Sometimes, one partner may be preoccupied with things such as work or hobbies and must be present more to show appreciation for the other. This can make the other feel taken for granted as it communicates that they are not important enough to spend time out of your day with them.
They never seek your advice on important matters
Another way one partner might take the other for granted is by not seeking their advice on important matters. This can be especially true when a partner wants to make decisions that affect them, such as major purchases or career changes.
They are quite demanding and expect too much from you
Sometimes, one partner can make too many demands and expect too much from their partner. This makes the others feel like they are not appreciated for their hard work. It is important to remember that relationships should be based on mutual respect and understanding, so it’s best to avoid demanding behavior as much as possible.
They prioritize their work and friends over you
When one partner prioritizes their work or friends over their relationship, this can lead the other to feel taken for granted. It’s important to make time for the ones we love to show appreciation and remind them that they are an important part of our lives.
They cut conversations short
When one partner cuts conversations short or talks over the other, it can make the other feel unheard and unimportant. Listening without interruption when your partner speaks is important to ensure both parties feel heard and valued.
They don’t listen to what you have to say
When one partner fails to listen to the other, it can make them feel taken for granted and unheard. Making a conscious effort to truly understand and empathize with your partner’s feelings is an important part of any healthy relationship.
They avoid romance and intimacy
Sometimes, one partner may avoid romantic gestures or intimacy as a way to take the other for granted. Not trying to spice up your relationship can be damaging and make your partner feel taken advantage of.
They dismiss your concerns and feelings
When one partner ignores, downplays, or dismisses their partner’s concerns and feelings, this can lead to a feeling of being taken for granted. It is important to make an effort to truly understand your loved one and validate their emotions to build a strong foundation for your relationship.
They forget special occasions
Forgetting important dates such as anniversaries or birthdays can make your partner feel taken for granted. It is important to show your appreciation and gratitude on special occasions by trying to do something special for your loved one, no matter how big or small.
They make plans without asking you
When one partner makes plans without consulting their partner, it can make them feel taken for granted. This is especially true if it affects both of you, such as a vacation or family dinner. Discussing plans and getting each other’s input before making decisions is important.
They get more than they give
When one partner takes more than they are giving, this can lead to a feeling of being taken advantage of. This may be in the form of financial contributions or emotional support. It’s important to balance what each party gives and receives to maintain a healthy relationship.
FAQS
How do I make him worry about losing me?
One way to make your partner worry about losing you is by standing firm in what you want and need from the relationship. That doesn’t mean you should be constantly demanding or pushing away, but instead, being honest and open about your needs. When your partner knows they need to work for it to keep you around, they will be more likely to appreciate and show gratitude for the relationship.
How do I make him realize his mistakes?
The best way to make your partner realize their mistakes is by having honest and open conversations about them. When discussing the issue, focus on how it made you feel instead of attacking them directly. This will show that you are not trying to put them down or pick a fight but rather looking for a solution.
Does silence make a man miss you?
Silence in a relationship can be beneficial in certain situations, as it allows both parties to think and reflect on their actions. When used strategically, silence can make your partner miss you and appreciate you more when they return to you. However, this should not be done if it causes further damage to the relationship or ignores important issues that need addressing.
Conclusion
Life can be complicated, and it is easy to overlook the importance of your partner when you are struggling with one thing or another. Thankfully, small acts of appreciation can go a long way in reminding someone that they are still appreciated and valued. Gestures like writing a love letter, bringing home a favorite dessert or surprise dinner, or treating them to a spa day can help strengthen the bond between partners. Still, communication is essential for a strong relationship since affection cannot always fill all needs, and partners should respect each other’s feelings without judgment. With an open dialogue, couples have the power to ensure they are both getting their individual needs met without taking each other for granted in the future.
