So, how do you decide **how do you know when to get a divorce**? Hi, Cody Butler here, marriage coach and founder of Better Marriages. I want to talk to you about what to do if you’re at that point where you’re making that decision. Do you stay in the relationship or do you leave the relationship? There are a few things to consider if you’re in this situation.
Now, the first thing to consider is why you’re leaving the relationship.
Are you looking for the easy way out? Because I’m going to share something with you that was really profound when I first heard it, and that is marriage is hard, but divorce is harder.
If you think it’s hard being married, then wait until you try divorce. It’s going to be really, really difficult. It’s going to be a lot more expensive, a lot more painful, and very, very difficult. So, the first thing I would ask is, what is your motivation for getting divorced? Is it because you think it’s an easier option? Because if that’s the case, getting a divorce might not be the right thing to do.
The second thing I want to share with you
If you’re thinking about getting a divorce and looking for some insight into whether it’s the right decision or not, is that nobody can really help you with that decision. You have to make that decision yourself because nobody’s going to live with the impacts of that decision.
Your partner is going to be very impacted, you’re going to be impacted, and if you have kids, they’re going to be impacted. Your retirement plan, your finances, everything is going to be impacted in this situation. So, it’s really up to you to decide.
It’s such a big decision that nobody else can really help you with. But what I can do, and if you’re looking for advice, if you’re watching videos like this, it seems like you are, is to enlighten you about the potential consequences of those decisions, which allows you to make an informed decision. So that 20 years from now, you’re not going to look back and say, “I should have given it one more chance. I should have done this or that.”
The thing I would really encourage you to do as step number two is to explore every single avenue before making that decision. Explore coaching, explore counseling, explore education, explore all the things that are available to you. That way, you can literally say, “I tried everything, and nothing worked.” So, 20 years from now, you’re not going to look back and regret that decision.
Now, if you want some training on marriage and communication, which is generally the cause of breakdowns and divorces, check out the link in the description. We have a free workshop for you.
Where I share with you how to have better communication, how to have more sex, how to have more intimacy, and best of all, how to stop arguing and fighting within your relationship. And there might just be some stuff in there that you haven’t thought about before, that you haven’t considered before. And even if it doesn’t work for you, then you can leave the relationship and look back and say, “20 years from now, I have no regrets. I tried everything. I gave it everything I had, and it just didn’t work.”
Now, step number three is going to be to really think through what are the consequences of getting a divorce.
Have you really thought through what it’s going to be like to be single, to be out there on your own, supporting yourself, and doing life by yourself all over again? Because a lot of people, when they get a divorce, they’re not in the same position that they were when they got married.
Getting into another relationship is not going to be as easy. Making these big life shifts 5, 10, 20 years down the road from when those initial decisions were made are not going to be as easy. It’s a lot easier to change your career at 25 than it is to change your career at 45. And the same is true with a relationship. It’s going to be a lot easier to get into a new relationship, develop, and build that relationship at 25 years old than it is to do it at 45 or 50.
So, my last question to you, and there’s no answer for this, I’m not giving you an answer, I’m just presenting questions so you can decide for yourself, is being single and everything that comes with that. Have you really thought that through? Everything that involves, what that looks like, and how you’re going to feel about that? And if you have, then power to you.
Make the decision. But hopefully, these tips here have helped you get just a little bit of clarity about some things that you can do, and then you can make that decision with more confidence, more clarity. And the number one thing that I’ll leave you with, which I’ve touched on in this video, is you want to make sure that you’ve done everything, so there are no regrets. You don’t want to look back 20 years from now or 10 years from now and say, “There was more stuff I could have done, but I just didn’t do it, and I regret that.”
That’s it from me. If you like this content, if you like these videos, please leave a comment. Let us know what your tips are on how to decide whether you should stay or go in a marriage. And share this video. Give us a like, give us a comment, share this video on social media. It really helps us get the word out to people who need this information to help with their relationships. That’s it from me. Bless you all.
