So, how do you make your marriage stronger, healthier, and better?
Hi, Cody Butler here, a relationship coach and founder of Better Marriages. I want to share with you some tips that **couples swear by this formula** to strengthen your marriage, build it, and keep it growing.
Now, the first thing, the first tip that I want to share with you is to have a common vision for the relationship. It says in the Bible, “My people perish for lack of vision.” It doesn’t say they perish for lack of skills, resources, or effort. It says that my people perish for a lack of vision. So, my question is, if your marriage is starting to become stale, if it’s starting to disintegrate and deteriorate, then it’s probably because there’s a lack of vision within the marriage. There’s a lack of a marriage vision.
When we come together, we come together on shared ground, shared interests, and we’re usually moving in the same direction. When my wife and I met, we were playing music together. I was a guitar player, and she was a singer, and we were on common ground, moving in the same direction.
But, as time passes, as we grow up, and as children come along, that shared vision can start to disappear, and we start to go in different directions. Before you know it, we’re two separate people going in two separate directions, and we no longer have a shared vision. We no longer have a reason to be together.
Now, we’re in a marriage of convenience or obligation. So, step number one is to have that shared vision. Make sure that you have a vision for the marriage and that you’re moving in the same direction.
The second thing to make sure your marriage stays healthy is to get relationship education. Being together is not easy. Anyone watching this knows that, anyone in a marriage or relationship knows that. And the skills that you need to make a relationship work are actually quite simple.
It’s not difficult, the skills that are required. But, they are also very, very difficult to come by because nobody teaches them. We’re not taught communication in schools. We’re not taught how to have great relationships in school. We’re not taught how to do life with another person, especially another person of the opposite sex in schools.
Men and women are different creatures. They speak differently, they have different needs, and they have different ways of communicating. Unless you get the education, it is going to be very difficult to communicate.
Here’s the proofread version:
“What it is that you need in a relationship to your partner, and (b) it’s going to be very difficult for you to understand what they are communicating to you in terms of what they need. So, when you have two people that are not understanding what each other wants, and they’re not able to communicate what they want, it is going to become very, very frustrating within that relationship. Nobody is going to get what they want out of the relationship, and the couple is going to grow apart.
Now, if you want some free training or education on how to do that, I’ve got a free workshop on how to communicate better within your marriage, how to argue less, and how to get more sex and intimacy out of the marriage. That’s 100% for free. There’s a link in the description. Click on that, and you can attend that workshop 100% for free. I will share with you all of that stuff. I will give you strategies, tips, and I will tell you how to have healthy conversations and to fight in a healthy way in that workshop. And that will truly help your marriage.
The third tip that I want to share with you on how to keep your relationship healthy and strong is to remember what it was that made you fall in love in the first place. What was it that you loved about the person? Because, again, a lot of times what happens when we come together after a short period of time, we stopped doing what it was that made us fall in love with the person in the first place. And if we stopped doing what it was that made us fall in love with them, then we’re going to fall out of love with them, and we’re going to lose those emotions.
This is where we hear phrases like, “I love him, but I’m not in love with him,” or “I love her, but I’m not in love with her.” You have an affinity for the person, you care for the person, you have a deep connection with the person, but you no longer have that passion. You no longer have that excitement, and the reason is because what creates that passion, what creates that spark and that excitement is behaviorally based. We’re attracted to behavior, we’re excited and aroused by behavior, and we all too often take that behavior out of the relationship.
We stop doing what it was that made us fall in love. Maybe we went to music concerts, maybe we went to sporting events, maybe we took trips up mountains. I don’t know what it is, but there’s something that you guys did together in the beginning that has stopped, and it’s that behavior being removed from the relationship that kills the passion, that kills the intimacy, and the excitement.
And if you can bring that back in, if you can identify what you loved about the person, what you were doing when you fell in love with that person, bring it about. You’re going to bring about a return to the passion and the excitement and the love that you felt, and you will be in love with the person as well as loving the person.
So, what are your thoughts? What are your tips? What are some things you can do to keep a relationship healthy and growing? Leave a comment for me, let me know. I’d love to hear what you think about this stuff, and if you like these videos, please help us get this content out to other people that need to hear this by subscribing to the channel, liking the video, and sharing the video on social media. It really helps get this information to people that need it.
There’s a lot of people out there that are hurting in relationships that need help, and you can help them by subscribing sharing and liking this video so that’s it from me bless you all.