So, there’s no sex in your marriage. How do you turn that around?
Can a Marriage Last Without Sex? Essential Advice for Men in Sexless Marriages
The first thing is to understand what opens up a woman to sex. This is really key. A woman wants to give sex after communication, when she feels emotionally heard, understood, recognized, validated, and loved. That is what opens her up to having a sexual experience with you. If she’s not wanting to give you sex right now, then the root cause of the problem is that she’s not feeling heard, validated, loved, or emotionally connected with you. That ultimately is what’s causing the problem.
But then we have to go a little bit deeper than that and ask ourselves, why is she feeling that way? And really, that’s going to come down to a couple of things. The first thing is that if she’s not opening up to you to have the level of conversation and connection that she needs in order to give you sex, then it’s because you’re not giving her the opportunity to do that. Or she’s not feeling emotionally safe or having the emotional freedom to do that. What do I mean by that? I mean that she does not feel as though she can speak freely or has the emotional security to speak her mind and express herself freely without fear of invalidation, repercussion, frustration, or difficulty.
Because a lot of times, our wives try to talk to us, and we just shut them down or invalidate their feelings by saying something careless like, “Oh, don’t worry about that,” or “It’s no big deal,” or something along those lines. Your wife is trying to express herself to you in those moments, in those conversations. And when we use phrases like, “Oh, that’s no big deal,” or “Just forget about it,” or “Don’t worry about it,” we’re invalidating that conversation with these really careless phrases. Or it could be a case of when she tries to speak to you, she receives a much harsh or harsh response, which usually ends in a fight, aggravation, or difficulty.
If every time your wife speaks to you and tries to create that emotional connection which she has been doing a lot, I guarantee it, if she’s met with frustration, aggravation, difficulty, or a fight, eventually, she’s going to stop trying. And when she stops trying to do that, that is when the sex disappears from the relationship. So step one really is to understand that in order for her to re-engage in sex within the relationship, she needs to have that emotional connection with you.
Step number two is for her to have that emotional connection with you; then, there has to be that emotional freedom created, that emotional security, and that sense of safety to where she feels like she can openly start to communicate with you. Now, once that safety is created, and that conversation starts to happen, there has to be a framework for the conversation to happen to where she’s able to express herself in a way that allows her to connect with you and feel emotionally connected. She is not going to want to give you any kind of sexual activity until she feels emotionally connected to you. And that happens through a very specific way of having a conversation, which we cover in our “Win Your Wife Back” program, which is detailed in the description.
By having a conversation in a way that allows her to feel emotionally connected to you, that can open her up to having a sexual experience with you again. If she’s not wanting to have sex, it’s because she doesn’t have the emotional space to connect with you like she needs to. If we can create that emotional space, that is the first step in bringing her back into the bedroom and having that sexual experience with you again. So that’s it. I hope you enjoyed that. Check out another video over here or over here, and we’ll talk to you very soon.
